n. WTSHTF: "Have I got an insult for you..."

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Friday, June 29, 2012

"Have I got an insult for you..."

A little humor today...how 'bout some good insults?

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." 
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." 
-- Winston Churchill

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." 
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" 
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." 
-- Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." 
-- Abraham Lincoln
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." 
-- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." 
-- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." 
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." 
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second night...if there is one." 
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." 
-- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." 
-- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." 
-- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." 
-- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." 
-- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." 
-- Walter Kerr
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." 
-- Jack E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." 
-- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." 
-- Thomas Brackett Reed
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." 
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." 
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." 
-- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" 
-- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." 
-- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." 
-- Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... 
for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." 
-- Billy Wilder

"Sir, if you were my husband, I'd give you poison." (Member of Parliament to Winston Churchill)
"Madam, if I were your husband, I'd take it." (His response)

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